I want to get married... but am not finding anyone the "regular" way. Should I try online dating? Does anyone really meet and get married? I feel like people always "know someone" who've had success... but I don't know anyone personally.

Don't focus so much on getting married. It's putting the cart before the horse. If you feel like expanding your horizons, then yes, try online dating. Key word: dating. Guys who know you are "husband shopping" will run for the hills faster than you can say diamond.

you're right yes, it seems as if things could be in the wrong order. i guess i was wondering if online dating is really a good direction if my goal is to settle down... you know? the people i know who have tried it have really only been successful with finding hook ups, so that's why i was asking. thanks for everyone's input. very helpful.

Good news. "Guys who know you are "husband shopping" will run for the hills faster than you can say diamond." And in doing so they do OP a huge favor. There are other kinds of guys, and no law of nature precludes a good match between two people where one or both is marriage-minded, so long as they both choose the right person and are willing to walk away from the wrong person.

exactly I hate stereotypes, not all men are terrified of marriage, for many that is exactly what they are looking for. There's nothing wrong with putting that out there. Just like the poster who wanted to be a SAHM eventually, as long as there is disclosure, there should be no reason she can't go after what she wants.

Clarification I don't mean anything about guys avoiding commitment in general - just that it's a huge turn-off when someone talks marriage on a first date. Being marriage-minded is fine, being marriage-obsessed is creepy.

correct. many a guy who'd love to get married can be scared off by a girl who goes on second dates with a mental tape measure to see how he'll look in a tux.

That would be a bit creepy. When you put it that way, I can see the problem. I think that sort of started to happen to me one time. The girl and the mom seemed to be sizing me up for the kill. I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, but it was a little creepy. I boogied without delay, and anyone who reads my posts knows I'm as pro-marriage as they get.

I know someone personally who met her husband online. Me. So give it a try. But don't go into it with the goal of getting married. Start out with just meeting some nice men.

so cool on one of the dating sites or cl?

It was a dating site. Match.com, way back at the end of x. People here seem to like plentyoffish.com and okcupid.com, both of which are free. I think there are good and bad people on all the sites. I was just really lucky to find a good one on match.com when it was so new. Or maybe the fact that there were so few people on it made him stand out.

My friend met her husband on match.com x years ago. She seems to still like him. I met my SO online but .... If SO and I split, I'd definitely go online again. Generally speaking I've had a much better connection with the men I've met online than with the men I've met in person.

You can't beat the selection. My husband lived in a town about x minutes away from where I was at the time. There's no way I ever would have met him off line.

My daughter would agree with that. She found two guys on line. The first one was ok but not The One. The second one is a keeper. The wedding is scheduled for September x. They're coming here to visit this week! I am so outta here when that happens.

It's the shipping and handling that kill you.

If you and your SO are together, why do you NeedaNewMan?

I was pissed @ him when I created this handle and, honestly, I'm ambivalent about my relationship. I do still care for him, but I also literally cannot leave him since I have no place to go. It is a long drawn out story which most people wouldn't believe if I told them, so I just usually don't.

A cautionary tale, and one we hear again and again. I think that couples not dead nuts sure they want to spend their whole lives together take a big chance when they move in together. I wouldn't recommend it after reading the tales I've read here.

sorry im new at this... most of them i can figure out... but what is SO?

significant other

o duh.. thanks!

good story? i'm trying to convince someone to date online... looking for real life success stories... not the ones on the dating sites. would love to hear the story.

Don't get married, you will just get tired of the same ole thang. Then you'll be in the DIFO asking about a divorce.

Advise For Cathereeen's Post Every man and woman want to get married. There are many ways to meet people online, church, clubs, bars. Marriage is not everything it is a job to keep together. You want a long lasting relationship. Wait for the right person and do not jump into a marriage just because you want to get married because if you do you marry the first person and a few months or years down the road you find that you don't love them then you are stuck with the long processes of a divorce and the hardship of the money you pay to get it done.

Not everyone wants to get married

Hardly.

RevBC - Did PastorOTIS get blocked?

This sounds more like Pastor ChiChan!

Yes they delete my posts all the time. Advice that is too sincere, honest, and decent violates CL policies.